PAWS

I wish PAWS was for the sweet paws of a furry animal, but it's a new word that has been added to my recovery vocabulary.  PAWS stands for Post Accute Withdrawl Syndrome, and its normal while in addiction recovery.   It usually occurs around month or so after inital detox; and thats where my son is at. He celebrated his 60 days of sobrity tonight.
My husband and I just got back from visiting him and I thought we had a really good visit and my son looked like he was in a good place.  Well....it was so good that he began to dwell on his mistakes caused by the disease,  the legal problems he's facing, the gulit of the affects of his disease has had on his sister, and the idea that we still love him just the same before his disease took control of his life.  By dwelling on these stressors, he wants to cope with tbe only way he knows how.....using. He wants to come home...but subconsciously, come home to use. Nope...not coming home. He even mentioned to his RA that he needs to be put back on meds for anxiety and depression. Anxiety and depression are the symptoms of PAWS! So no meds are needed.

 Thank God he's in sober living,  these counselors know what they're talking about! The head RA, said this is normal during this stage of reovery. His brain is trying to get use to the idea that he's not using and wants his cope the only way he knows how. This can be an up and down situation, causing symptoms of withdrawl without using. This is so wierd to me, but this is how revovery works. Its like almost phantom pain.
Thank goodness I'm attending Alanon. I'm having the courage to stay strong and not loose my focus of my recovery. When I first got the call from my son's friend, to tell me my son reached out to him,  my heart sank and worry and fears began to take over. Then I remembered the first step, "I'm powerless over alcohol", followed by the serenity prayer.  Alanon has been a great life saver.  I put the issue to my Higher Power, and let go. In my recovery, I may experience PAWS; but I feel I now have the tools to help me.
I hope and pray he feels better soon. Ges coming home for 3 days in a few weeks to deal with his legal issues. Please God help him stay strong.