Next week is his court hearing for one petty misdemeanor and a misdemeanor. The "recovery" plan was for my son to have a 24 hour pass to attend court; his plan....3 day pass! The RA at the sober living house said they are getting the idea that he will not return if a 3 day pass is granted.
This is where the "sweet little lies" come in. He told his RA that he had court on Monday, then he has to meet with his PO on Tuesday (false), and on Wednesday he has to pick up a transmission for his truck (false-he totaled all his cars he's ever owned). The worst thing about this is that he tests clean everyday! Can you imagine the lies if he was using?
I just don't understand why the freaken lies! The Ra stated he has something planned to use and not return back to the sober living house. They fear he's in danger to himself and if he uses 1 more time it will be binge that takes his life.
I hate living in this fear. Alanon has helped me, but I can't live in fear. Ive reached out to the courts to let them know; unfortunately, they see many people with addiction problems, they don't give a crap. To them, if he goes on a binge, one less person in the revolving door of the justice system. I always hear, "hate the disease and not the loved one". I hate this disease, I hate the lies, manipulate behaviors, and I sometimes hate the person with the disease. Please don't get me wrong I love that kid, but to be lied to time after time, how can I trust him?
He was showing progress, but I think that fricken phone and social media is tempting him. I knew the phone would be a problem....I knew it. But i need to remember, I can't control his behavior and actions, only mine.
If any of you have higher power, please pray for us.
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