30 Days and 60 More to Go

Well... we hit the 30 days sober (well more like 28) and counting!  Yes, I say 28, because he did relapse his first week after detox. Why would anyone go through such a rough detox, and just want to use again? Oh wait....that's right! My son's an addict.
For the first time in his life my son apologized for what he put us through and realized the "the way to sobriety is honesty." Say what?!  In his letter he mentioned God; who I thought he forgot about. Wow, I guess having a relapse in recovery is a good thing; well that's what my marriage counselor said.
This past week has been a rough one. A week ago, my very dear cousin passed away very suddenly.  He lived a full and happy 37 years on this earth, but God needed him more.  I worried about telling my son in fear of relapse. His counselor was great and talked to my son, then conferenced me in on a call to talk to my son. He was saddened by the loss of our dear cousin, but seemed to stay strong during the conversation. All week I feared I was going to get a call that he was kicked out, due to a relapse. Thank God no call, except the weekly  call we get every Sunday.
This past call was different....much different. Different as in good different.  My son had a "light" in his voice that I've never heard before; and if I did, it must have been a very, very  long time. He said he had a very good week and felt better. He even told my mom that he felt "free". Wow! I guess he has made some progress.
Tomorrow we will see him for the first time since we dropped him off at recovery.  I keep playing through my head the 3 Cs of Alanon and the change in my behaviors and attitudes.  3 Cs.. I feel like I'm a robot saying this over and over...while trying to stop an anxiety attack!

• We didn’t cause it – it is not our fault that the other person drinks, it is their private battle

• We can’t control it – we have no power over the other person's desire to drink

• We can’t cure it – it is an illness that cannot be cured through any known medical remedies

What are we going to hear?! The whys, whats, when. My attitude, is it going to be what the %@#$ or okay, I'm sorry and I love you? I can tell you, 3 weeks of Alanon can never prepare me or my husband for what were going to hear tomorrow. I'm calling the next 3 days, "Family Therapy Bootcamp" or let all the crap out on tbe table. Regardless what I call it, it going to be a rough 3 days.